


To Be Or Not To Be

by AllThoseOtherWorlds



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Bodyswap, Everyone Is Doing Their Best, Gen, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, This contains both the text and podfic versions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThoseOtherWorlds/pseuds/AllThoseOtherWorlds
Summary: When Five took them back to the start of the week for a re-do, Ben wasn't expecting to suddenly find himself in Klaus's body, but sometimes things like that happen. Now he has to explain some things to their siblings, figure out Klaus's powers so they can switch back, and perhaps most importantly, convince himself and Klaus that switching back is the right thing to do.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family
Comments: 20
Kudos: 181





	To Be Or Not To Be

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this months ago and forgot to post it, oops.
> 
> Slight warning for mentions of not eating near the end (due to Ben not being used to being in a living body, and due to Klaus not always having access to food)

**Listen**   
  
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Ben gasped, blinking as he tried to understand the deluge of sensation washing over him.

The last thing he could remember was grabbing onto Klaus as Five sent them back in time, hoping desperately that Klaus could keep him materialized enough that he wouldn't be left behind.

He remembered a flash of light, and then nothing.

Looking around, he saw the others in varying states of nausea, scattered around the Academy's main room. Vanya was still unconscious, Diego looked close to vomiting, and the others were all glaring at Five, who was scowling back at them.

He ignored their argument with practiced ease, instead focusing on his two points of concern: First, he couldn't find Klaus. Second, he had a sneaking suspicion that he was less dead than he should be.

He glanced down at himself and was immediately presented with the answers to both of his questions when he saw not his own hands and familiar black hoodie, but Klaus's hands and tattoos.

Well. That was unexpected.

Before he could fully process the implications of what was happening, he felt his breathing get harsher and faster in what some part of him recognized as hyperventilation.

Distantly, he heard someone - Diego? - saying Klaus's name, but it didn't really register over the unfamiliar breathing and the unfamiliar heartbeat and the unfamiliar body and the unfamiliar _everything._

"Ben? Ben! Come on buddy, just look at me," he heard someone say.

Ben. He was Ben. He blinked open eyes he hadn't realized were closed and was faced with the disconcerting sight of his own face staring back at him.

"That's it, just breathe slowly," his mirror image told him. "There we go. Are you okay?"

"Klaus?" He asked, continuing to ignore the others trying to talk to him. One crisis at a time.

"Yup!" Klaus said, doing a twirl and a half-bow. "I guess Five messed something up during the transport, huh?" He giggled, and Ben immediately decided that he was absolutely never going to giggle again.

"Okay," he said. "Okay. So we switched bodies somehow. Okay."

"Apparently," Klaus agreed. "Hey, I bet I can pass through things now. Watch this," he said, walking over to Luther and passing a hand through his head. Luther shuddered.

Ben knew he should scold him, but instead found himself suppressing a much-needed laugh. Scolding could wait. For now, the others were all standing around and staring at him and looking more worried than they usually did when looking at Klaus.

"Um," he said eloquently. "Hi." He waved, and then winced. Wow, was he out of practice at this.

"Klaus, what's going on with you?" Diego asked. "You're being weirder than normal."

Ben sighed. Better to just rip the bandaid off, as it were. "I'm not Klaus," he said.

Allison let out a nervous laugh. "Right, and I'm Luther."

"No, really," he said. "Something happened when Five sent us back and we switched bodies. I'm Ben."

"Klaus, this isn't funny," Luther said. "You shouldn't joke about stuff like that."

Ben cast a desperate glance at Klaus, who shrugged. "They'll believe what they want about me, Benny," he said. "Always have before."

He sighed. "Look, I guess there's no way to convince you or to prove it, but I swear it's true. I'm Ben." He cast around frantically for something he could say to convince them.

"Look, I can't tell you anything Klaus wouldn't know because I've basically been haunting him for over a decade," he said. "But think about it. Is this how Klaus talks? Is this his body language? How likely do you think it is that he'd pull something like this, and at a time like this?"

The others all looked at Five, who sighed and threw up his hands. "It could be possible," he said. "I've never done this before with so many people."

"...Ben?" Diego asked, eyes wide.

" _Yes,_ " Ben said, "That's what I've been - ah!"

He broke off into an exclamation when he was suddenly surrounded by Allison's embrace. He awkwardly hugged back for the first time in a decade. A minute or two later she pulled away, eyes bright.

"We missed you," she said.

"I'd say the same, but I've been hanging around all the time," he said.

"So you really were hanging around Klaus all those years?" Luther asked. "Huh."

"Yeah," he said, glancing at Klaus, who was watching the proceedings with a smile. He gave Ben a thumbs-up when he looked over.

"So if you switched bodies, does that mean Klaus is a ghost now?" Diego asked, following Ben's gaze and not seeing anything.

"Uh, yeah," Ben said. He pointed. "He's over there." Klaus waved and beamed.

"I guess it's a good thing you switched powers as well as bodies," Five said. "It would be useless for Klaus to have his own ability and be a ghost."

"Probably," Ben agreed. He hadn't thought of that possibility, and didn't particularly want to consider it further.

Instead, he asked "Why did Klaus and I switch but nobody else?"

"That's a good point," Five said, staring intently at him. "What's different about the two of you?"

"Aside from the obvious?" Ben asked, just as Klaus said "Well, one of us is dead."

Five scowled. "Well, that's probably related," he admitted. "But we shouldn't leap to conclusions until we have all the data. What were you doing when we jumped?"

Ben thought about it. "Holding onto Klaus and hoping he could keep me corporeal enough that I wouldn't be left behind," he said.

"Well, let's just do that again," Luther said. "Won't that reverse the effect?"

Klaus sighed and rolled his eyes. Ben almost did too, but remembered at the last minute that if he did they'd notice.

"I have no idea how to use Klaus's powers," he said. "Heck, _Klaus_ has no idea how to use his powers."

"Hey, I'm trying!" Klaus said.

"I know," Ben told him. "But do you think you know enough to teach me?"

Klaus waved airily. "Details," he said. "You'll figure it out. You'll probably be better than me at it."

There was something in his voice that Ben didn't really like, something insecure and painful, but he knew now wasn't the time to talk about it. Instead, he shrugged and directed his attention back to his siblings.

"I guess that's all we've got, so I'll do what he can," he said. "But if there's another option I'm all for it."

The others exchanged glances, but no new suggestions were forthcoming. The silence lasted for a few seconds before Klaus clapped his hands together with a grin that looked very out of place on Ben's face.

"Come on, Ben. I get to be the ghost bossing _you_ around for once!" He said.

This time Ben gave in to the impulse to roll his eyes. "Sure," he said. He started to leave but was interrupted by Luther's voice.

"Uh, where are you going?" He asked.

Right. They could see and hear him and not Klaus. Oops. "Uh, I was going to go practice with Klaus," he said. "Try to figure out his abilities."

"You could do that here," Diego pointed out.

"It would be, uh… weird, with an audience," he said. "The first few times Klaus only managed it alone."

"Right," Diego said, but he sounded disappointed.

"Sorry," Ben said.

"You know we don't have to do this now, right?" Klaus asked, idly swiping his hand through the couch over and over. "You can just hang out with them and whatever."

"Sorry," Ben repeated. "I'm just going to go practice with Klaus for a bit. We'll be back later. Let us know when Vanya wakes up."

And with that he left, Klaus trailing along behind him with a concerned expression. He didn't stop moving until they were in Klaus's room, sitting on the bed.

Ben wasn't sure, but he thought he might be breathing faster than was normal. Not that he could really remember what was normal, because he hadn't had to breathe in years. _Not helping_ , he told himself firmly, trying to calm down.

"You okay there?" Klaus asked, concern in his voice. "I know this has to be a lot."

"I'm fine," Ben managed to say. He was lying through his teeth and they both knew it, but it was something to say.

"That's good," Klaus said, eyebrow raised.

"It's just - it's a lot," Ben said. "I mean, I want to talk to them and of course I'm happy they can see and hear me, but I'm still just trying to get used to, like, breathing and having a pulse! I get startled every time they talk to me!" He sighed. "It's a lot to get used to, and I don't know if it's a good idea to try."

Klaus nodded, considering Ben's words. "Well, you obviously don't have to talk to them or have a heartfelt moment or whatever." To emphasize the point, he put his hands to his chest and pretended to swoon. It looked so absurd in Ben's body that he couldn't help a snort of laughter. Klaus grinned at him before continuing.

"You don't have to," he said. "But this is an opportunity! I mean, you're alive again. It might be nice to take advantage of it."

Ben shook his head. "That's just it. I don't want to get used to it because eventually we'll switch back and I'll… lose it again."

Klaus shrugged. "I mean, we don't have to," he said, too casual for Ben's comfort.

"What?" Ben asked, though he knew what Klaus had meant. "Klaus, we can't just stay swapped. I mean, it's great to be back, but I can't just let you stay dead."

"No, think about it!" Klaus said. "You get to be alive, I get to be out of everyone's way and will definitely stay sober. You're probably the only other person who could handle my abilities, since you've been putting up with them-" he waved his hand at the ghosts crowding the room - "for years, and unless you make me corporeal it doesn't matter if I get the hang of your powers." He laughed. "Everyone wins!"

Ben thought he could feel the beginnings of a headache - something he had not missed about being alive.

"Klaus, no," he said. "We can't just stay swapped forever. We don't know what other consequences this might have. And besides…" he paused for a moment, trying to put his thoughts together.

"It's not how things are supposed to be," he said. "I died a long time ago, and you're still alive. It's just… not right for me to take that away from you."

"Well, technically I've died too," Klaus said. "Don't think you're special." At Ben's glare he turned serious again. "Just consider it?" He asked. "I think this could work."

Ben probably would have continued the argument if Luther hadn't chosen that moment to open the door.

"Vanya's waking up," he said. "She's in the main room."

A few minutes later they were all gathered in the main room, watching a slightly groggy Vanya blink her eyes open. She looked around for a moment, confused. Ben could see the moment she remembered everything that had happened and her gaze shuttered.

"You- you locked me up!" She said, pointing an accusatory finger at Luther. "And I - Allison - the concert - I'm so sorry!"

A light breeze was picking up in the room, and Vanya was getting more and more distressed.

"Hey, Vanya, no," Allison said, stepping closer. "I'm okay, see? Five sent us back in time to last week. I'm not injured anymore. The moon is fine. And nobody is going to lock you up, right, Luther?"

Luther winced a little at her pointed glare. "Right," he said. "Nobody will lock you up. You're safe."

Vanya nodded, taking a few deep breaths. After a minute or two the pressure in the air lifted and the strange wind died down.

"Sorry about that," she said.

"It's okay," Allison told her. "We're all okay, and it won't happen again."

Everyone was silent for a slightly awkward moment until Vanya spoke again.

"Um, at the theatre," she said. "There were all these people fighting you, and I thought I saw… Ben?"

Ben waved, momentarily forgetting that he wasn't in his own body.

"Smooth," Klaus commented. Ben shot him a glare.

"Klaus?" Vanya asked, brow furrowed.

"Uh, not quite," Ben said. "Something went wrong when Five sent us back and Klaus and I switched places. I'm Ben."

Vanya cast a questioning glance at Five, who shrugged.

"It seems true, as far as we can tell," be said. "We think it has something to do with Klaus keeping Ben corporeal when we travelled."

"It would be nice if you'd actually listen to us when we tell you this stuff," Ben said, before wincing. Next to him, Klaus giggled.

"Sorry," he said. "I'm not really used to everyone hearing me."

The awkward silence resumed, broken only for Ben and Klaus by the restless mutterings of the dead.

"Well, this was fun," Five said, "But we do still have the Commission to deal with and an apocalypse to prevent, so why don't we go do something useful, like training?"

"How does that sound?" Allison asked Vanya. "Are you up for that right now?"

Vanya shrugged. "I don't want to blow anything up again," she said quietly.

"We can go somewhere secluded," Five said. "And I think Ben and Klaus should come too."

"Us?" Ben asked.

"Yeah," Five said. "You need to figure out Klaus's powers to switch back, and it makes sense to do all the training together."

"That means he can't just zap us there," Klaus pointed out. "It won't work on ghosts."

"Right," Ben said. "You can't teleport Klaus though. That's what caused all this in the first place."

"Right," Five said. "I guess Antarctica is out then."

"I think there's an unused field about twenty minutes away," Diego said. "Why don't we just go there?"

"That works too," Five said.

Half an hour later they were all gathered in an empty field a few miles out of town. Ben, in an attempt to feel a little more normal, had changed into jeans and a hoodie.

"Okay, _now_ I believe you're not Klaus," Allison said. "I didn't even know he owned a hoodie."

"I don't," Klaus said. "I have _taste_."

"He doesn't," Ben said. "I borrowed this from Diego."

"I don't remember that," said Diego.

"I might not have asked," said Ben.

"Rude," Diego muttered, but he was smiling as he said it.

"Okay, let's get started," Five said, clapping his hands together to get their attention.

"How?" Vanya asked. "I mean, how did you learn to control your powers?"

"We didn't," Ben muttered. The others turned to look at him and he shrugged.

"I mean, it's true," he said. "Klaus and I both never really learned how to control our powers. Mine are literally what killed me, and Klaus's powers kind of suck to experience - sorry, Klaus."

Klaus waved a hand. "It's true."

Vanya looked stricken, so Ben tried to backpedal a little. "I don't mean that your powers are going to be like that," he said, even though her powers had literally ended the world so he was probably lying. "I'm just maybe a little nervous about this too."

They smiled awkwardly at each other for a moment.

"Nobody is going to die today," Diego said. "Klaus's powers aren't deadly, and Vanya can start slow".

"And we are _not_ using any of the techniques dear old Dad tried to train us with," Klaus said.

Ben nodded in agreement.

"How about this?" Allison suggested. "Ben, you try to make Klaus visible. Vanya, you try to lift this rock into the air and hold it there."

They both nodded. "How do I do this?" Vanya asked.

"How did you do it before?" Allison said. "Try that, but dialed down."

Vanya nodded, frowning, and focused her attention on the rock. Ben watched for a moment before Klaus snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Hey, time to get to work," Klaus told him. "Bring my visage to the masses."

"Right now that's technically my visage," Ben pointed out.

"Yes, but it's so much more dynamic with me in it," Klaus said. Ben ignored him.

"Okay," Ben said. "So how do I do this?"

Klaus shrugged. "You were there when I was trying to figure it out. You know as much as I do."

Ben sighed, but he knew Klaus was probably right. He cast his mind back to the other times it had happened. Punching Klaus and releasing the Horror had been acts of desperation, and that probably wasn't a good long-term solution.

Instead, he called out to Five. "Five, can you grab us a glass from the mansion? Something tall and narrow."

"I'm not a chauffeur," Five grumbled, but he went anyway. He appeared a moment later with a glass.

"Thanks," Ben said. He put the glass on the ground between himself and Klaus and sat down.

"Okay," he said. "Just move your hand back and forth. If you become corporeal you'll knock it over and we'll know it worked."

"Fun," Klaus groaned dramatically, but sat down and started waving his hand back and forth through the glass.

Ben closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on Klaus, rather than the handful of other assorted dead people trying to get his attention. He reached inward, trying to feel the source of Klaus' power.

He found himself instead trying to reach towards the pit in his stomach where the Horror resided in his own body, and had to consciously redirect himself.

An hour later and he felt a little like screaming. He suspected Klaus also felt like screaming, but was refraining from doing so out of rare courtesy, probably because the ghosts were screaming enough for the both of them.

_One last try_ , he told himself for the fourteenth time. This time, instead of pushing down his frustration to calm himself, he allowed it to wash over him, remembering the fear and intensity that had driven the only successful uses of this power.

It crashed over him like a wave and he felt an energy building within him, pushing against his ribcage in a way that was uncomfortably reminiscent of the Horror begging to be let out.

But it wasn't the horror, so he let it out, doing his best to channel it towards Klaus.

There was a dull thud as the glass was knocked over and Ben opened his eyes.

"Finally!" Klaus exclaimed, picking up the glass. "Hi everyone!" He called to the others, who had stopped to watch him and Ben. "Miss me? Me as in Klaus, obviously, I know you all missed Ben. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ben." He gestured dramatically in Ben's direction as if making a point, though Ben couldn't imagine what it might be.

"Okay, yeah, that's definitely Klaus," Diego said.

"Five, do you want to try switching them back now?" Luther asked.

"Yes," Five said, approaching them. He didn't get more than a few steps though before a nearby ghost yelled in Ben's ear and he lost focus. The glass slipped through Klaus's fingers and hit the ground with a soft thud.

"Sorry," Ben said. "Someone yelled and I got distracted. Someone other than Klaus," he clarified when the others just stared blankly.

"There are ghosts other than Klaus?" Vanya asked quietly.

"Yeah," Ben said, unsure how much Klaus wanted him to share. He cast a questioning glance at him, but Klaus just shrugged and gestured expansively at their siblings.

"Yeah," he said again. "There's usually at least one or two, but sometimes a lot more. They can be annoying."

Annoying was a bit of an understatement, to be honest, but he wasn't really sure what else to say.

It appeared that nobody else knew what to say either, because after a moment Allison cleared her throat and said "Well, it's getting late and I'm sure we're all tired. Why don't we go back to the mansion for now and try this again tomorrow? You've both made some good progress."

"Thanks," Vanya said, smiling a little. It was nice to see.

It wasn't long before they were back at the mansion, gathered around a table of hastily prepared food.

Ben stared awkwardly at his plate of pasta, poking it with a fork instead of eating.

"Come on," Klaus said. "I know it's been a while, but I'm pretty sure you remember how food works."

Ben rolled his eyes at him and gathered some of the pasta on his fork. He took a bite of it and paused, overwhelmed by how bizarre and normal it felt at the same time.

Something must have shown on his face, because Diego said "Okay, my cooking isn't _that_ bad. You okay?"

"Yeah," Ben said, clearing his throat. "Sorry."

"This is so weird," Luther muttered.

Ben felt laughter bubbling up in his throat. He knew he was slightly hysterical, and he could see the worried looks on his siblings' faces, but he just couldn't stop.

"You think this is weird?" He asked. " _You_ think this is weird? I was _dead_ for the past decade! I'm technically _still_ dead! I'll go back to _being_ dead when all this is over! But here I am, talking to people other than Klaus and touching things and _eating spaghetti_." He felt some of the hysteria fade away as he vented his feelings. "So, yeah, this is _weird_ ," he said. "I… I hope it stays weird. I can't afford to get used to this."

"Well, if you'd consider what I said-" Klaus started to say.

"Shut up, Klaus," Ben said. "Not the time."

The others were all staring at him now, and he shifted a little in his seat.

"I'm sorry," Luther said. "I didn't think about it that way." He paused. "And I'm sorry too, about - you know, when we were kids. When you…" he trailed off.

"Died?" Ben filled in. "Don't be. It wasn't your fault." He looked at all of them. "It wasn't any of your faults. And it wasn't my fault either. You know whose fault it was? It was Dad's fault, for making me fight with powers he knew I could barely control. I'm not letting anyone else take the blame for something he did."

He'd half-expected Luther to fight him on this, but instead he just looked down and nodded.

Ben sighed, feeling the fight drain out of him.

"It's good to see you," Vanya said softly. The others nodded and smiled.

Ben smiled back. "It's good to be seen."

The rest of supper was a little awkward, but not unbearably so, and it wasn't long before they'd all eaten and were heading to bed.

"You okay?" Klaus asked when they got to his room. "Did it feel good to get that off your chest?" He giggled. "Well, my chest, I suppose."

Ben sighed. "It kind of did," he admitted. "Not that it fixes anything."

"I'm sorry," Klaus said, suddenly.

Ben blinked. "For what?" He knew it couldn't be about his death - they'd had that conversation years ago.

"It's my fault we're in this mess," Klaus said. "If I was better at controlling my powers this wouldn't have happened."

"We don't know that," Ben said. "Besides, of all the messed up things to happen this week, it could have been worse. At least nobody died."

"We have really low standards," Klaus laughed. He was silent for a moment before continuing.

"I really am glad you're getting this chance, though," he said. "For everyone to see you. To be alive again. You deserve it."

"It is kind of nice," Ben admitted. "I just hope we switch back before I get used to it.

"Like I said," Klaus started, but Ben cut him off.

"No, Klaus," he said. He was prepared to launch into a heartfelt lecture, but was interrupted by a yawn. He'd forgotten what being tired felt like.

"You need to go to sleep!" Klaus said, grinning at him. "You know, you could always sleep in your own room. I think Dad kept it clean, the creepy old coot."

"Nah," Ben said. "I've spent more time in yours anyway."

"Okay," Klaus said. "I'm going to go spy on the neighbours or something then. Sweet dreams!"

"Allison sleeps with the radio on," Ben told him. "If you get bored."

"Thanks, brother dearest," Klaus said. He waved cheerily and poked at the door cautiously before walking through it.

Ben sighed, lying down and letting his head rest against the pillow. He was a little worried that he wouldn't be able to sleep, but apparently Klaus's body knew what it was doing for once, because it wasn't long before he drifted into unconsciousness.

\---

He awoke confused and disoriented. Where was he? Had he been unconscious? How? He felt his breathing quicken and that panicked him even more.

"Hey, it's okay, Benny, we switched bodies. Remember?"

The sound of his own voice saying someone else's words jolted him back into awareness.

"Right, sorry," he said, sitting up and glancing over to where Klaus was slouched against the wall. "Thanks."

"No problem! Klaus beamed. "I'm just glad you're awake. Nighttime is _boring_. If we ever get a cell phone, we've got to invest in some audiobooks. Maybe check out a podcast or something."

"I know," Ben said. "I'm pretty sure I told you that at least twice last month alone."

"I think it was three times, actually," Klaus said. "But hey, now that we're having a big family reunion over the end of the world, maybe we can do something about it."

He’d actually told him four times. There wasn’t much Klaus could realistically do about it, given his limited resources, but it was something to talk about, and a nice dream. In reality, Ben spent a lot of nights watching to make sure nobody tried to rob or kill Klaus - there’d been a few close calls.

"Are the ghosts mostly ignoring you, at least?" Ben asked, attempting to tune out the dead lady pleading for him to avenge her death.

"Yup," Klaus said. "It's a nice break. Sorry you've got to deal with most of the attention, though."

"The price of being alive, I guess," Ben said, shrugging. Hearing the ghosts wasn’t new, of course, but it was a different experience when it was your ear they were yelling in.

Two hours later, after a mostly uneventful breakfast, they were gathered once again at the practice field.

Vanya had been successful in her attempts the previous day, so today she had graduated to lifting three stones at once. Ben and Klaus were back to the same routine as before, Klaus passing his hand back and forth through a glass.

"What happens if you make me solid while my hand is inside the glass?" Klaus asked. "Do you think it'll explode?"

"I hadn't thought of that," Ben frowned. "Maybe we should pause between swipes just in case. I'll let you know once I've tried to make you solid."

"Sounds boring," Klaus said. "But just for you, I'll do it." He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically and Ben shuddered.

"Don't do that in my body," he said. "It's creepy."

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. "I guess we should get to work."

"Yeah," Ben said, not particularly enthusiastic about it. He wanted them to be able to fix this, of course, but he'd always hated practicing his power and that didn't seem to have changed just because his power had.

He closed his eyes and tried to find that burning energy from yesterday. He wasn't particularly successful.

"Try now," he said, and there was a beat of silence before Klaus said "Nope." He sighed and tried to refocus.

Things went like that for a while. On the fifth try Klaus was able to flicker into view for a moment, prompting an excited exclamation from Diego, who was watching them, but he disappeared before he could knock over the glass.

After that, things started to improve. By the time they'd been practicing for about three very long hours, Ben was able to reliably make Klaus corporeal for at least a few minutes, sometimes longer.

"I can't believe you decided to just wear a black hoodie for all of eternity," Klaus was saying. "I know there has to be a way for you to wear other clothing because this isn't what you were wearing when you died."

"Klaus!" Allison hissed.

"What?" Klaus said. "It's true. A good thing too, because the only thing worse than wearing a black hoodie for eternity would be wearing that uniform. No offence, Five."

"None taken," Five said. "Which reminds me. If I'm stuck looking like a kid again, I at least need proper clothes. Once we've fixed you two, I'm getting new clothing."

"Ooh, can we come?" Klaus asked.

"No," Five said.

"Klaus, you can't just insult Ben like that," Allison said.

"Why?" Ben asked. "Because I'm dead? I think I'll manage."

Allison winced. "Sorry," she said.

"It's fine," Ben told her. "But I've been listening to Klaus complain about my wardrobe for probably longer than I've been dead. I'm used to it."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I guess it's just hard to remember that you've been here the whole time."

"I know," he said.

"Okay, I think that's enough practice," Five said. "Do you want to try switching back now?"

“Sure,” Ben said, a pit growing in his stomach that had nothing at all to do with the Horror.

He took a deep breath. He could do this. He’d been dead for years, and a day and a half of being alive again wasn’t going to break him. They’d switch back, and maybe Klaus would learn to control his powers better, and _it would be fine._

“I don’t know,” Klaus said, as if responding directly to Ben’s subconscious. He groaned.

“Why not?” Diego asked. “You’ve been complaining about being in Ben’s body for at least the past hour.”

"And I have better things to do than babysit the two of you," Five added. He was scowling, but Ben thought he looked worried.

Klaus snorted. "You're one to talk." Then he sighed. "I've been trying to talk to Ben but he won't listen. I think it makes more sense to keep things this way." He held a hand up to stop their protests. "No, listen! If we keep things like this, Ben gets to be alive, I don't have to worry about relapsing, and that creepy girl claiming to be god gets to deal with someone less annoying than me. It's a win-win."

"Uh, what creepy girl?" Vanta asked.

"Is that relevant?" Allison said. "I'm more concerned that he wants to stay dead. That's not a sign of good mental health."

"Like any of us have good mental health," Ben said. Allison glared at him and he held his hands up in surrender. "I don't agree with him, I'm just saying."

"The creepy little girl sent me back the last time I died," Klaus said. He sounded nonchalant, but Ben knew him better than that.

"Brought you back to life?" Vanya asked.

"Wait, the _last time_ you died?" Diego demanded.

"Yeah!" Klaus said brightly. "With Luther, at the rave." At everyone's confusion he added, "I mean, Luther didn't die, obviously."

"Neither did you?" Luther said, but it sounded too much like a question for Ben's taste. He found himself clenching his jaw at the reminder that nobody else knew the half of what Klaus had gone through - what he'd watched Klaus go through.

"Klaus?" Diego asked. He turned to Ben. "He's gone again."

Klaus gestured expansively at the group. "I guess it's your turn to play translator, Benny. I hope you do a better job than I always did."

Ben took a deep and measured breath. He needed to sound calm, at the very least for Vanya's sake. She was in control for now, but shouting couldn't be helpful.

"After Luther found out that Dad hadn't read any of his reports from the moon, he got a little drunk and asked Klaus to go out to a club with him. Klaus said no and he went anyway." Ben took a deep, slightly shaky breath. "I told him to follow Luther, said he'd need help. Klaus went. Luther accidentally pissed off someone at the rave and they attacked Klaus. He… he wasn't moving. Wasn't breathing."

He glanced around at the others. They were mostly varying levels of stunned, hurt, and confused.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Klaus said. “I came back! Nobody even noticed!”

“That’s part of the problem, Klaus,” Ben sighed. At Diego’s raised eyebrows he continued. “After about five minutes he just gasped and sat up like everything was fine. Said God was this little girl who didn’t like him and sent him back.”

“Seriously?” Allison asked.

“That’s how he knew Reginald had killed himself,” Five said.

“Yeah,” Ben said. “And none of you even noticed! Klaus was _dead_ and I was _alone_ and nobody noticed! Klaus was-” he broke off before he could mention the torture and time travel. That was for Klaus to reveal, if he wanted to. “I was alone,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Klaus said. “Really.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ben told him. “But I’m glad that little girl didn’t like you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice,” Luther said into the awkward silence. “I was… distracted, but I should have been looking out for you. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s no biggie,” Klaus said. “No harm done, right?”

Ben sighed again. “He forgives you,” he said. He took a few deep breaths and focused until he was calm enough to bring Klaus corporeal again. Klaus poked the glass and gave a small smile.

“Really, it’s fine,” he said. “I only brought it up to prove that it’s a good idea to keep us swapped.”

“Still not seeing your logic there,” Five said.

“I just…” Klaus trailed off, looking uncharacteristically serious. He turned to Ben.

“I know I’ve never been what you needed,” he said. “I mean, you only followed me around because I could talk to you, and half the time I didn’t even want to do that! I never, I don’t know, ferried messages or extracted revenge or whatever the dead want from me.”

“I never wanted that,” Ben said. “You know that.”

“I know,” Klaus said. “But you’re the only ghost I would have even tried for, you know that?” He laughed. “I mean, remember that time I told Dad how much you hated the statue?”

Ben winced, thinking of the punishment Klaus had received for his outburst. “I’m really sorry about that,” he said.

Klaus waved a hand. “It was worth it. He was going to throw me in there anyway.” He shuddered a little before continuing. “The point is, I couldn’t do anything to help you even when I wanted to. But I can now! I know how much you hate being alone, and I know I can be pretty rotten company, so I thought…” he trailed off. “I just wanted to be useful for once.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Five said.

“Uh, what?” Klaus asked.

“I mean, how do you even know that would work?” Five asked. “Maybe you’re just uniquely annoying and that little girl wouldn’t bother to send anyone else back.”

Klaus frowned. “I know I can be a lot to handle, but I am certain there are people out there more annoying than me who haven’t come back to life.”

Five opened his mouth to respond, and Ben knew the conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere good. Five was stressed- they all were - but he handled it by being snarky and defensive, and that wasn’t going to help.

“That’s beside the point,” Vanya said, and Ben breathed a sigh of relief. “Even if that is an ability, and even if it is reliable, and even if it does transfer to Ben - what’s the point if Ben doesn’t want it?”

“But-” Klaus said, before breaking off. He was clearly conflicted.

“I get it,” Ben said. “Really, I do. I know how frustrating it is to want to help and not be able to - of course I know how frustrating that is. There were so many times over the years I wanted to be able to help you in some more tangible way than words. But I couldn’t, so I did what I could with what I had.”

“But now I _can_ do something,” Klaus said, voice small.

“You were already doing something,” Ben said. “I know you think you’re rotten company, but you aren’t. You might make ill-advised decisions and are honestly terrible at asking for help-”

“Thanks,” Klaus scoffed.

“-But one thing you aren’t is boring. You know how boring being dead is? It’s super boring. But you always had something interesting to say, and you always made sure I had something to do while you were asleep if you had the chance. That means a lot to me.”

“You’re always crankier when you’re bored,” Klaus said, smiling a little.

“My point is that you have ways to help me that aren’t this,” Ben said. “And with this new ability of yours you can do even more! I mean, we’re having a conversation here and the others are able to hear both sides of it for once.”

“It does make more sense when you can hear both sides of it,” Allison admitted.

“You’re good at using my abilities,” Klaus said.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be good at them too,” Ben said. “I bet it’s like muscle memory. I can use them because you and I were already practicing before we switched. I mean, you haven’t had to worry about my ability at all, right?”

“Yeah, the Horror has been blessedly quiet,” Klaus confirmed.

“Right, because I learned how to keep it from coming out,” Ben said. He’d only learned that in the years after his death, but still. “So you’re unconsciously drawing on that muscle memory. So if we switch back, there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to get more skill with your abilities as quickly as I did."

Klaus frowned, but not in a disagreeing way. He was silent for a long moment before speaking. “You’re sure you’d rather we switch back?” he asked. “I know you much you hated being dead.”

“Of course I hated it,” Ben said. “It was boring and useless. But me taking your life isn’t going to give me mine back.” He smiled. “If it makes you feel better, I promise to nag you until you can make me corporeal sometimes.”

“You’re good at nagging,” Klaus said.

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Ben told him.

Klaus took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, some of the tension draining from his posture as he did so. “Okay then,” he said. “Last chance to talk to everyone until I get my powers under control.”

Ben smiled shakily. “Right.”

He turned to the others. “So, um, I guess this is it,” he said.

“Smooth,” Klaus commented. Ben ignored him.

“It was really nice to be here with you all,” he said. “I mean, I’m always here, but you know what I mean. So thanks, Five.”

“I’m still not sure how this happened,” Five said. “But you’re welcome anyway.”

He blinked hard against the sudden and unfamiliar urge to cry. He stepped forward and hugged each of his siblings in turn. When he was done he stepped back and smiled at them.

“Just remember,” he said. “You know I’m here now, and you know how to reach me.” He turned to Klaus. “Which means that you really have to stop lying to people about where I am and what I’m saying. It was one thing when nobody believed you, but now it’s just going to be annoying.”

“Fine,” Klaus waved a hand. “I’m not that much of a jerk.”

“I know,” Ben said. He turned back to the group. “Take care of yourselves. I’ll be around.”

He turned to Five. “I’m ready.”

Five nodded and stepped forward to grab Ben’s arm. Ben grabbed Klaus’s arm and closed his eyes tightly. He remembered the first time they jumped and it had been pretty disorienting.

“I’m going to jump one minute into the future,” Five said. “Just in case we need time travel for it to work.”

“Ugh,” Klaus groaned. “If we end up a hundred years from now, I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

“We’ll be fine,” Ben said. “But please don’t bring us a hundred years in the future.”

“I’ll do my best,” Five said. “Let’s go.”

Suddenly Ben felt everything _shift_ around him, and if he hated this as a ghost he hated it even more with a body. For one slightly hysterical moment he thought that at least this way he’d be glad to be a ghost again. He felt himself jolt sideways in a way that was totally divorced from physical reality, and then everything twisted around him and went still.

“Klaus?” he asked, opening his eyes. They were still in the same field, but about ten feet from where they’d started. He held up a hand and was mostly relieved to see that it was his own, insubstantial and tattoo-free. He glanced to the side and saw Klaus, groggily getting up from the ground.

“Ugh,” Klaus said. “Let’s never do that again.”

“Klaus?” Vanya asked, softly.

“Yeah,” Klaus said, groaning. “Ugh, I’m starving. Ben, did you eat at _all_?”

“...Sorry,” Ben said, sheepishly realizing that no, he hadn’t. “I forgot about that.”

“It’s fine,” Klaus waved a hand at him. “I’ve gone longer without eating, and I’m actually used to the concept of needing food.”

Diego made a pained expression at that, but didn’t comment.

“Well, it looks like everything is back to normal,” Five said. “At some point we need to figure out a way I can jump with you without that happening. It’s very inconvenient.”

“Oh, it’s inconvenient for _you,_ is it?” Ben snarked. The corner of Klaus’s mouth quirked up and he felt a burst of satisfaction.

“I’m sorry we didn’t believe you all that time,” Luther said, surprising everyone. “About Ben.”

“Don’t be,” Klaus said. “I wasn’t exactly a credible source.”

“We can do better now,” Allison said. She looked at Vanya. “For everyone.”

“Did you want to practice your abilities some?” Vanya asked.

Klaus winced briefly, but then smiled. “Your abilities are coming along marvelously!” he said. “You blew that apple to smithereens earlier and didn’t even kill anyone!”

“Klaus!” Allison hissed, but Vanya was smiling a little.

“You didn’t answer me,” she pointed out.

“Ugh,” Klaus said. “Fine. Just don’t be disappointed, okay? I’m not a genius like Ben is.”

“You’ll be fine,” Ben told him. “Just try building up energy and channelling that into it.”

“Building up energy,” Klaus said. “Okay.” He rubbed his hands together and and let out a deep breath, then closed his eyes. Ben knelt down by the glass and started waving his hand back and forth.

“This is a lot easier when someone is in imminent danger,” Klaus said, opening his eyes.

“I could threaten to punch you, if that would help,” Five offered.

“I’ll pass, brother dear,” Klaus said. “And _you_ can keep your hands to yourself,” he told the dead man trying to claw at him with mangled fingers. “I did not miss all that attention.”

“What’s wrong?” Diego asked.

Klaus winced. “Ghosts don’t really pay attention to you if you’re already dead. They just harass me because I’m alive and they’re not and I can hear them. They want me to help them, or get revenge, or just listen to them rant. Some of them don’t know what they want. It’s…” he trailed off, looking away uncomfortably.

“It sounds awful,” Vanya said.

“Yeah,” Klaus said. “I used to envy you so much because you didn’t have powers to worry about, but I guess we had more in common than I thought.”

“Subtle,” Ben said, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Klaus said. “Ben tells me that was rude.”

“It’s true though,” Vanya said. “I used to envy all of you for your powers. And now…”

“I guess powers you can’t control is a Hargreeve’s special,” Ben said.

“Now who’s rude?” Klaus asked, but he repeated the words anyway.

“I guess so,” Vanya said.

“Weren’t you practicing?” Five asked.

“Right,” Klaus said. “Practicing.” He closed his eyes again.

“Take some deep breaths,” Ben said. “Remember how you felt the last time this happened, when we were fighting off the commission. The rush of adrenaline, the burst of energy and the need to save everyone. Find that energy and hold onto it, then push it away from you and at me instead.”

Klaus nodded and continued breathing deeply. He was clenching his fists, and after a few minutes he made a sound in the back of his throat and released his hands.

Ben poked at the glass and was gratified to see it fell over with a soft thud.

“You should do guided meditations,” Klaus told him. “I wonder if we can record you when you’re like this?”

“You did it!” Ben said. “I told you you could.”

“I love how this turned into another reason I’m supposed to listen to you,” Klaus rolled his eyes. “Anyway, as much fun as this has been, I really would like to get some food.”

“It’s almost lunchtime anyway,” Diego said. “We can head back and get something to eat.”

“And this time Ben can join us properly,” Allison said. “Wait, where’s Ben?”

“Sorry,” Klaus said. “I guess I lost focus.”

“We can still leave space for him,” Vanya said. “Now that we know he’s here.”

“Thanks,” Ben said.

“Ben says thanks,” Klaus told them. “Now let’s go! I want waffles.”

“That’s a breakfast food though,” Luther said, heading towards the car.

“Who cares?” Five said. “It’s food.”

“Good food,” Allison said.

They continued bickering about the relative merits of breakfast foods most of the way back. Ben was used to listening to his siblings argue, but it was pleasantly surprising to hear them having a friendly debate instead of a vicious one.

As promised, they left an empty chair for Ben and Klaus translated his occasional comments. It was a little awkward, but Ben appreciated that they were trying. For the first time in a long time - including his time in Klaus’s body - he felt almost alive.


End file.
